Kinda sad

The trial was today of a boy from my District, who stabbed and killed one of his friends after a party in the summer. It's truly a horrible story and I'm not going into it, but his sentence was 12 years before it can be reviewed. Obviously everything about this is extremely sad, but what most shocked me were the comments on the online version of the local paper. I can't say more than that I was shocked, and whilst I understand the depth of emotion...well, anything I write doesn't explain what I want to say about such a complex situation. If you believe that prayer works, or even believe it might work, please pray for the family, friends and everyone involved with Michael (the boy who died), and Kieran (the boy who killed him). He showed 'no emotion' in court, and has never said what his motive was to kill one of his friends.

Cricketing and Thanksgiving

You know, I have had another weird day. Not unusually for me I suppose. Will blog more later or at the weekend when I've got everything done, but today I was at a conference at the Oval cricket ground near Vauxhall station in London. Interesting day and made me think about how much is achievable if I could just cut through a lot of the (necessary and probably rightly so) faff that goes along with my work. Quite inspiring in other words. Also used those voting pads like they have on Who Wants to be a Millionaire? That was fun. More in another blog. Then want to my second Thanksgiving held by Joel and Adriel. Amazing. 32 people and great food. Photos up later. Great to have a laugh, eat, and catch up with friends; and above all to be thankful for our lucky lucky selves.

77 days!

That's it.

Marketing overkill/cleverness

Today I attended a rather grandly titled 'roadshow' about a thing called Local Area Agreements. It was in a Holiday Inn in London. I had rather a range of emotions when I noticed that the drinks available were from Starbucks! Big dispensers with 'brewed by Starbucks' written on, and cookies and stuff, a la a mini-coffee station. Some thoughts I went through in my mind: 'ooo, coffee', 'oh my goodness I can't believe Starbucks have an arrangement to provide coffee to Holiday Inns', 'biscuits!', 'I really shouldn't have such a big cup', 'ooo real mugs', 'we look like a big coffee advert'.


As well as lots of information, one of the speakers did suggest repeatedly that the way to develop partnership plans is to take everyone to a tapas restaurant and get them to choose dishes together, as a rather yummy extended metaphor.



Word Watch: there was a good smattering of 'drilling down' and a guy trying to create the word 'innovational', which surely is 'innovative'?

I alos have a huge new bruise on my leg from falling off a chair. Not at the roadshow. Don't ask. Can't feel any bone sticking out...but it's going a very dodgy purpley colour...

Tips on annoying Ruth

I will not be held responsible for my reaction if one more person says to me 'New Zealand? Ooo perhaps you'll meet a man out there!'. Because clearly I have no other option than to move continents as I have dried up the spring of potential in the whole of Europe? How rude. And because clearly the only thing on my mind must be husband-hunting? Living in another country. and more specifically NZ since I went there and found how great it was, has been planned in my head generally for about 10 years and more clearly for about 4. I have bigger plans for my life and I am certainly not waiting for it start. Thank you.

And one more thing, yes I am planning on coming back. I have 12 months off work and a moral duty to go back as Natalie has been extremely good about me taking the time off when some significant stuff needs to be done. However, if Gill (who is already in my team and hopefully
taking over) proves to be good at it and enjoys it, that certainly gives me more leeway. But HELL I DON"T KNOW!! It's freaking months away. Please let me get there before I think about coming back again.

Rant over. 115 days.

I [heart] Hever Castle

For a mini-reunion of our Easter holiday at Word Alive, Mark and Sarah invited us up to Sutton!-Yay! Having got totally lost trying to get there (I BLOODY HATE DRIVING IN LONDON), I arrived at exactly the same time as Kathleen and Anna, so it worked out well :)

Today we lazed around in the morning eating breakfast and talking, then we went to Hever Castle in Kent www.hever-castle.co.uk. It's not National Heritage or National Trust so we didn't know what it would be like, but it is the most beautiful castle and grounds I have ever been to. I totally recommend it to anyone, especially just to see the grounds but the castle is really well set out too (not too much info to be boring, but what was there was really interesting). One of the best things for people of all ages is that there are three mazes in the grounds, one normal hedges, one sort of 3-d climbingy one, and one with water where you have to get to the centre across stones in the water but if you step on some they spray water etc (rocking brill fun). Utterly beautiful Italian garden and gorgeous rose gardens. Will definitely be going back.

Cappucino and prayers anyone? Or, CafeChurch

My church, which frequent readers will know I am quite fond of, has now devoted an entire side of the building to cafe seating and tables! It's great :) My church rocks. Everyone loves it and we sit there after services drinking coffee and chatting. In theory it is meant to be more attractive to students, but pah, the rest of us love it whatever, and there are a couple of sofas coming. Who said church wasn't a place to relax and have a chat? Surely that is What Jesus Would Have Done with random uninviting C of E buildings??

Bank holiday weekend

I took Friday off work and headed down to a village near St Austell with Anne and James. We stayed with my aunt and uncle Margaret and Jim on my Dad's side of the family. They were extremely welcoming and made wonderful food for us all weekend.

As we were basically surfing a lot of the time, I didn't have my camera, so most of the pictures are of us sitting around! But check the shot of me actually standing up on the surfboard (damn hard)! Couldn't say with fairness that I showed a lot of natural talent, and Anne labelled our group 'remedial paddling', but I loved it. I will definitely be doing it again, possibly not before I leave but I hear the surfing is excellent in NZ.

We had lessons and went to Fistrall and Town beaches. It was certainly useful having lessons in surfing technique, although we did just seem a constant disappointment to our instructor Augusto, who would give us an extra push onto the wave, tell us to 'paddle, paddle, paddle', and then just give you a look when you fell off sideways. Now that's what I call helpful instruction. And he only told us on the second day how to protect your head from being whacked but your or another's board when you fall off. Too late for James who has an inch-long scar on his head! I have got an amazing bruise from someone's stray board as well, but on my thigh.

167 days till I get my plane

Its very unreal.

Anticipation

At the moment I am anticipating various :) things. I think anticipation is more active than waiting, and I'm certainly not wishing away my time.

One of these things is my surfing break I'm about to have with Anne and James staying with my aunt and uncle in Cornwall. Another is my Welsh adventure going in a week's time to Snowdonia for Ieuan and Mary's wedding. They are getting married on an organic farm in the middle of no-where in beautiful surroundings and inviting all their friends to camp and generally have a festival of fun for several days. I've been to quite a lot of weddings and I think this is going to be pretty memorable. And Steve, my ex-colleague and friend I am travelling with, and I don't have anywhere to stay so that makes it even more of an adventure!

I've hardly had a day off work since Easter and I can barely remember what it's like, so I'm giddy right now. Pictures to follow. There are lots of other things to anticipate but I will talk more about them another time.

I love conservatories

Such a long but lovely day today. I'm very happy.

This morning my church (see new website and spot me in a picture!) was having a very much needed tidy-up day. There was a lot of crap in the church that needed to be dumped (like about 40 old chairs and kneelers that were gathering dust in the cellar, and lots of bookcase stuff and an old piano etc etc). It was quite fun, I do like getting messy :) It also just needed a general good tidy up. I started often relatively cleanly by hoovering all the chairs and wiping them down, but then I got embroilled in putting up the Alpha course banner (as I am running the next one from end of Sept). Then I helped bring up v dusty things from the cellar and finally I picked up all the debris from the hedge outside that had just been cut. I was pretty grimy by the end.

Having had a bath I had a great bus journey right to the other end of the line to Patcham to Nicola's parents house who are away at the moment. A few of us had a bbq there and drank Pimms all afternoon, it was fabulous. Then Nic and I sat in the conservatory and longed for conservatories of our own :)

Countdown, and I've still got it

Sooo, 192 days until I get my plane. I bought my ticket today and I'm happy but starting to worry (in a good way). I know it will be fine. I swore I would never travel via LA again, but circumstances conspired against me and I have to go that way (have booked a return via Hong Kong which I hope to be able to keep although the date will have to be altered for further in the future at some point). The silver lining is that I can take more stuff if I so desired (not so much desire there).

T'other thing is that I went to a party last night (yes, another one, woo hoo!) and stayed til early this morning and felt great when I got up (10.30ish). I purposefully didn't drink much. If that is the answer to staying awake and feeling good the next day someone should have informed me of the joys of fruit juice, or at least drinking slowly, much earlier.

And in other news I have linked up a very old walkman into my stereo so that I could listen to Kylie's 'Enjoy Yourself' album on tape. There has been some dancing.

Things are moving on

I have applied for and been granted my visa to enter New Zealand within 12 months, which they will hopefully then exchange for a permit once I arrive. This is the first major step in getting there and I am very excited :)

I am now back to consolidating and sorting out my finances so that I can be sure how much I have and what each bit will pay for.

This is great.

High on a hill...

I'm going to a party this weekend and I shall be dressed as Heidi. Can't wait. I will try and get a pic or two on here or facebook or something afterwards. Get on FB Annabel you bint.

Today I had one of my Fridays in Chichester where I had to get a hideously early train. I got soaked to the skin on my bottom half and spent the whole day interviewing people whilst being in various states of drying out.

Can't wait until tomorrow when I will spend the ENTIRE day (apart from getting dressed and partying as Heidi) reading the new Harry Potter. Brullliant.

Not a lot of news really. Did I mention Heidi? I have a flowery shirt.

Lesson Learned, or Ode to Sleep

Today I learned what happens when you set your wake-up alarm in the logic-free pre-slumber fog that overcomes you just as you drop off at night.

Yes, this morning, I - not famed for my enjoyment of early rising - got up at 6.10am, washed and had breakfast before my brain finally clicked into place and I thought 'ummmm, that's not right, I am an hour too early'. I had an early train to catch or I would not be up at 7.10 either! (flexi-time gets it's name for a reason :)).

I did briefly think about going back to bed, by frankly that would have been a Very Bad Idea. I so did some reading and joined the ranks of those smuggards who have always got up, started work, and saved a couple of orphans all before I normally open my peepers.

I just love sleeping.

Leadership, giftings and a beautiful garden

(Scattered through here are piccies of my garden - see the end for further details!)

I've now finished a year-long leadership training course run at my church called Growing Leaders. We met once a month and for away-days and looked at various subjects.

• Firstly I am very impressed with the level of training and support us leaders are getting, especially as having talked to many friends from other churches, they would love something like this as it's just not happening chez them.
• Secondly it has confirmed a lot of things (as training often does on a topic you have been doing for a while anyway).
• Thirdly, it reminded me of what I really enjoy doing, and consequently I have joined the group researching and consulting the church and Prestonville (our Parish name) communities to see what they need and want to help reach conclusions about what to do with our church building and the church hall a few roads away. This really gets me excited, and we've just started planning the approach.
• Fourthly, each of us had a mentor for the leadership course and I am grateful that it has put me in touch with Martine who is a wonderful French lady I hadn't met before. She's great, and every time I meet with her I come away remembering what I love about France, and how much more there is to explore than little England.

At Church we have been having sermons on spiritual gifts and have been praying for them as the Bible says God will give them and they are useful for building the church (eg words of wisdom, healing, prophecy, interpretation of tongues etc). I am testing out (by doing it) what God seems to have given me which is words and pictures which I just seem to get in my mind when I'm praying sometimes. Most recently I've had a couple which when I've said out loud or to the person I think they were for, have resonated with them, which is positive. Frankly it's a bit of a tricky gift because as humans we associate pictures and words in our minds all the time, and so of course you can explain it away as something co-incidental or just from me. However, I am being practical about it and trying it out, and having faith that I have heard from God. I have no idea if I may get prophetic things from God to pass on, but those of you who believe in the God I do, please pray for me and more pray for St Luke's and that we will be receptive to what God is up to. I also personally heard words in my head back (not in a mad sense!) in January during one of the services talking about building joy and also about God wanting to build on the firm foundations he had laid in me. I wrote it down but didn't tell anyone, but again those things were written down and given to me from two different people recently as they had been praying for individuals on the leadership course. I know I shouldn't doubt God, but it is always amazing to get a reminder (or several) that he knows about me as an individual and cares about everything to do with me.

Sorry if you don't believe in all that!, but I just wanted to share what has been gong on with me spiritually.

And to finish this mammoth post here are some pictures of my garden which my parents and I finished last weekend and is now in full bloom.

Not quite inconclusion, and types of clothes days

Sort of inconclusion
Today I met with Natalie my boss, and Peter her boss to discuss my career break. We talked through the things that need to be thought about, that needed to be done, and that needed to be checked (ie how the work might be covered by someone else, writing a project plan for reviewing the Community Strategy, and talking to HR and the PCT who part fund my post).

The conclusion is that the District Council are happy for me to go (and come back!) but before I can actually book a ticket I need the agreement of the PCT as well. This shouldn't be a problem, although you never know.

Presuming they say yes, if anyone has great has advice about what sort of ticket I should get for a 12 month return or where I should get it, I'd be very grateful.

Clothes
Jen and I on camp used to sense some mornings that it was a skirt day. You can just tell in the morning.... Today it would appear that it was a black t-shirt and black and white skirt day as Natalie and another colleague Jacqui were in almost identical clothes (Monsoon junkies...). Watch out for those days.

Mini-Happiness, Or Gifts from Strangers

I boarded the train to come home yesterday and sat opposite a man. He had several small squares of pink card on the table between us and he was folding one. Rather dismissively I thought 'uh oh, freak' and tried to keep looking out of the window, but the next time I looked back he had folded it into the most amazing little pig!

The train journey is only very short and we both got up to leave at Hove. He must have seen me looking at the tiny origami pig because he pushed it towards me.

The little pig is now sitting on top of my computer. Pictures below. Thank you stranger with an ASLEF identity chord. Train drivers clearly have deeper creative talents than I give them credit for.

My walk home

Yesterday evening I walked back to Hove after a meeting in Brighton, and this is some of what I saw and thought:

Pretty bandstand still being repaired.








My feet in my Crocs.











Colours are nice.









The pier looks quite dramatic today.







Friends having a sit down.








God bless Brighton and Hove.







We love boys playing football.









Why is there a random yellow pole here? (the sticker did not provide any clues).










Cool.











What is the point in putting a flag up when you can't work out what it says? (and even then what that means).

And - oh dear look at the clouds.








6k/7k? The true price of beach huts on the Brighton/Hove border?











It's me!

Letter

Today I put a copy of the letter requesting my career break on the divisional head's desk. I was scared. I was actually shaking. Why I'm not quite sure, I guess it is making it Real. Now he has 14 days (unspecific as to whether this is working days or if it includes the weekend!) to reply.

I'm feeling rather stuck really. I just wish it was all happening and I could get away. Ho hum.

Randomly I was early for a meeting today and bought a beautiful necklace for £2 bargain. It's lovely. And it has sparkles and it made me feel better :)

Dancing around

This evening I have been mostly dancing around my flat pretending to be either a pussycat doll or possibly J-Lo. I'm so cool. Lucky neighbours may have caught a glimpse of me pirouetting through the kitchen.

Try dancing today.

And here's a gratuitous picture of darling Hugh.

Favourite workshop/seminar moments

I was at a talk tonight and one of the things which happened made me think of all the seminars and workshops I have been too (or been part of, eek) where something very amusing goes wrong. Usually technology-based.

Tonight's classic was a comment from the chair as one of the speakers was bringing up their presentation on a screen where you could see what was on the laptop. The wallpaper was of a child, and the chair said 'ah, lovely picture of your daughter... er, son!'. Nice. To be fair it did look like a girl...

Another one which made me smile was at an 'important' central government-hosted event in London, where the speaker talked for so long that the screen-saver came on behind her over her slides. The screen-saver was the organiser's name (something like Alina) which then continued to bounce around the huge presentation screen for about 10 minutes until the presenter moved onto her next slide.

One where I could hardly contain my laughter was a workshop where the flipchart paper with headings had been blue-tacked the walls of the (big, echo-y) gym we were in. The guy leading was trying to do his introduction and one by one they kept detaching and falling onto the floor. Perhaps you had to be there... That was the same night that I was made to use the 'Madonna' head mike (think telephonist). Which could not be used in conjunction with the roving mike, causing delays of about 5 seconds between questions and answers whilst there was a manual switch over into the amp.

I once held a surgery session in a village hall where I literally spent half an hour looking for the light switch. Also same place where conversation was all but drowned out by the generator from the mobile fish and chip van parked outside.

There are certainly more of these stories...I may have to do further installments...they may just be under the title 'things wot made me laugh when working in the villages'...we'll see.

Please feel free to add your ridiculous stories of seminar-going. I'm going to one tomorrow, so I'm hoping for fodder...

Frou Frou, sandwich advice and new shoes

I have just got the album Details by the band Frou Frou, and I can't stop listening. I think it may be my music of summer 07. Anyway, it is pretty old now (2002) but as you may know, it takes me a while to decide I like something enough to buy something.

I have just be trying out a new sandwich option to see how it goes. Variety being the spice of life and all that. It was melted cheese and Skips in wholewheat pitta. I can now with integrity tell you that it is probably not worth you reproducing.

Anne and James gave me an amazing present to thank me for looking after the catties whilst they were on holiday. I now have a wonderful pair of crocs (brown, Mary-Janes for anyone that interested!). Irrationally happy about this, considering they are just shoes. I'll put a pic or two up once my camera battery is charged...

Turned

I have now managed to articulate what I have been thinking for many months, possibly years now (especially having got my own place):

A Friday or Saturday night out has to be mind-bendingly, life-affirmingly, great in order to beat a night in at home.

Don't care how that makes me look. I love home.

Also, update on the PMT (Possibly Moving Thing) my boss told me today to look at the 'career breaks' section of our work policies, and indeed I can (in theory, if my head of division agrees) get up to 12 months break and then come back to my old job. This is an amazing answer to prayer. Now all I have to do is persuade him (whose initials are PD so many call him P Diddy) to let me do it...

Straplines and splat

Inspired by something on the radio I have been looking at the strap-lines/taglines of some of the films I own. Think it gives a little too much away about me but some of the interesting ones are:

• Finding your inner princess can be such a royal pain
• He's the best thing she ever borrowed
• Little kids, big words
• Grab life by the balls

Also, it was officially the start of summer for me today as my first insect of the year splattered against my windscreen.

Lent

Lent has really been a useful time for me. I gave up sweets, chocolate, basically sugary snacks and quite a lot of puddings. Having done this for weeks and weeks, Easter day is a bit odd because by then you have established a diet which is pretty much without these things (except Sundays!). I found this morning that I didn't really want to eat much chocolate, although my parents had given me some nice-looking eggs. Obviously it would have been rude not to have a bit :) They did taste nice, but I don't have much appetite for chocolate or sweets at the moment. I imagine it will come back.

When I really wanted some sweets it was always a day other than Sunday, and it reminded me that often what we can't have just heightens our desire for it. God gave me the strength (and distractions!) to manage to not give in.

I don't seem to have lost much, if any, weight tho. Ho hum.

Being clean in the capital

I have had to go to London fairly frequently in the last 3-4 months and I am very pleased to have my trusty anti-bacterial handwipes with me :)

I think it is something about travelling on trains, then touching underground handrails and generally being in London that makes me really want to wash my hands when I get to my destination, and then when I get home.

Ah. there is nothing like clean hands.

Quite how truthful to be in your annual review...

This came up last week. I was having my annual review (or PDR - Personal Development Review) and was discussing how I would like some project management training. My boss told me about a course run through work which is 1 day a month over 2 years which would be great for me to go on. That was the point when I felt a bit torn. If I want to get to New Zealand on working holiday visa I need to get it before I'm 30, in 2 years and 2 days time. Having asked to go on a course, I felt it would look a bit stupid for me to then have no very good reason (that she knew about) for not doing it. So I said that actually my plans were to be in NZ by two years' time, which she was a little surprised by.

I am really not one for playing any kind of game at work, or being political (with a small p) about what I do, because I'm just not clever enough to make it work for me, so it's better not to try! However, basically telling your boss you are going to leave some time between now and a year and a half's time, just may not stand me in the best stead.

It's tricky. I wanted to be honest, but I also didn't want to have that 'she's leaving' label. However, I feel I couldn't have said anything else or I would have either lied or implied something different. So there we are.